Learn how to write and give a flawlessly funny speech for any occasion with Emmy-winning comedy writers Carol Leifer and Rick Mitchell. With a foreword by Carol Burnett.Giving a speech about someone is hard. Giving a funny speech that people are actually going to pay attention to is even harder. In How to Write a Funny Speech for a Wedding, Bar Mitzvah, Graduation & Every Other Event You Didn't Want to Go to in the First Place, Leifer and Mitchell will teach you how to write the perfect speech so you can look awesome, make some people laugh, and get it over with.Quick and easy to use, this book is broken into short chapters full of priceless tips and advice. Leifer and Mitchell will walk you through how to: Properly write, phrase, and deliver your speech so you not only flatter your subject but also keep the rest of the audience interested (and maybe you'll even get a standing ovation, but we can't guarantee that-that would be cool, though, right?). Nail down how to get started so people actually pay attention to you (in a good way). Figure out how to deliver and perfect comedic nuances with a crash course in what you should and shouldn't say so you don't scare the compression socks off grandma. Hear from these seasoned comedy writers as they dish out public speaking advice that will make you look like you totally do this all the time. Take a closer look at a handful of successful real‐life speeches from real‐life people, annotated for a better understanding of why other people were better than you so you can be better than them. Enjoy bonus content like Carmela's retirement toast to Tony Soprano and Homer Simpson's speech at Bart's graduation. And if, in the end, you still have no idea what to say about your niece at her Bat Mitzvah, there's a handy fill-in speech template at the back so you can spend more time figuring out what you're going to wear. Happy writing!Perfect for: Anybody who needs to write a speech celebrating a friend, family member, or couple Best men and maids/matrons of honor for weddings or vow renewals Family and friends of graduates, retirees, or honorees Bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah celebrants