***THE INSTANT SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER***This book will single-handedly eradicate the need for parenting and schools. It's that useful.It's a cruel, cruel world out there, a harrowing place filled with crime and illnesses, taxes and grief. And swans. But help is finally here. TommyInnit's Guide to Survival will teach you how to:- Navigate peer pressure using simple, fun solutions, such as violence- Survive being mugged, by humans or animals- Become famous in various ways, some of which are even morally defensible- Fall in love - with other actual humans- Overcome the mean voice in your head- Quickly and easily defeat Godzilla, sharks with arms . . . and swansWhen the apocalypse hits, you need to be ready! So read this book. Read it hard. And then read it again.