The funniest book of the year from an incredibly exciting new voice in children’s fiction! Are you sitting comfortably? Are you fantasising about bamboo? Do you have black and white fur? Are you huge and cute and cuddly-looking? Well, put this book down, because you are a panda, and this is not a book for pandas. This is a story about a girl called Scarlet. She’s nine years old, just like you, if you’re nine. If you’re not nine, then she’s more like someone else who is nine. She has red hair, just like you, unless your hair is brown. She is 127 centimetres tall, just like you, unless you’re taller or shorter. Her favourite colour is green, just like you, unless your favourite colour is grey, although that seems highly unlikely. And she is as smart as a shiny button, just like you. Scarlet only responds to the advert at the back of the Beano for the role of Defender of the Universe to prove to her annoying younger brother that it’s not a real thing… so she’s a little surprised to be